You Can Take This One to the Bank

  "Think Yiddish," they used to say, "dress British."  These days, you should dress Swiss.  We learn that USB, the Swiss banking behemoth, is circulating a 43-page appearance/dress code to employees in its retail branches.  As in:

[D]esigner stubble is out of the question for men, as is excessive facial hair.UBS's advice for men even extends to underwear, which should be of good quality and easily washable, but still remain undetectable

Link.  I told my friend Lee once that I think I missed my calling, and  that I should have been a banker,.  "You can't," she said, "you're not tall enough."  She neglected to mention the excessive facial hair.